Free Lunch, a cautionary tale?

FREE LUNCH: For two days, I have celebrated the joys of free lunch.  Though we've all heard that "there's no such thing," I want to present to you Exhibit A:

Turkey the Sandman? 

It was a Bacon Bravo something-or-other sandwich (from Panera's catering) paired with a side of salty baked chips and bottled water.  But what you really need to know here is that the scarf on Turkey the Sandwichman is my major takeaway from today's "Beautiful Blackboard" and FCTL Fireside Chat (dudes--where is the fire??) session lead by Tara McCrackin from Kendall College of Art and Design.  Ms. McCrackin (say it aloud three times like MIZZMICRAKKIN because it's awesome!!) cautioned hapless blackboarders about the nightmares we might create by using many of the fine and fugly color backgrounds and themes that Blackboard offers.  

The major takeaway: Ferris colors make for a frightful visual experience.  Choose neutral options in blackboard, like Sand, Steel, or Moss, and avoid buttons.  "Keep it simple," she said, adding that you should delete any content areas you don't regularly use in class from your dashboard and sidebar, so that you don't wreck your students' lives.  These helpful hints will keep you from blinding your students so that they can focus on other things, like reading the three weeks of course announcements they seem to be avoiding.

Yesterday's free lunch: A veggie wrap, salad, a can of cherry coke, and a coconuttychocolateything.  I was super cheesed about the cherry coke, until I sipped it and realized that it must have crossed our great nation over centuries on a semi-truck.  The two sips I had reminded me that there is indeed still evil in the world, my friends, and that we should all stick to movie theater cherry coke ONLY. EVER. EVER. EVER.

nO.  neVEr.

 After my tastebuds suffered a slow and pretty painless death, I enjoyed fishing the broccoli out of my teeth by inconspicuously scrubbing them with a paper napkin, and not speaking to anyone until I was 100% sure my teeth were not decked with boughs of broc-holly (Christmas is only two months away, people, so just go with it).  Admittedly, someone I didn't know did see my overt tooth-scrubbing, but since we're not acquainted, it's the social equivalent of a tree falling in the woods.

From our presenters, Dawn Shavey and DeeDee Stakely (who, btw, could be a doo-wop group), I learned all about the joys and sorrows of Michigan Transfer Agreement, which appears to be mostly joy.  I also learned that Educational Counseling and Disability Services is AWESOME for giving me free lunch, but that I couldn't be helpful in return by providing any guidance on using AdobeConnect.

For your enjoyment, here's a terrible link on how broccoli and dental floss can prolong your life...I was missing half the equation yesterday, so I probably shorted myself a few years.

HEADLINE: Random web search for broccoli in teeth turns up AMAZINGNESS in advertising!

For future reference: Free lunch needs free dental floss.  Maybe there are trainings closer to the Dental Hygiene Clinic.